The Mormons (Comedy Short Film)


Jesus Christ hang on I’m coming! Ah fuck. Hello sir my name is Joey and this
is Marc and we’re here today to talk to you about Jesus. Oh boy Sorry sir but I didn’t catch your name? It’s Louie, hey look guys I don’t have a lot of time I mean is there something need to sign to prove that you guys were here or or what We’re not political canvassers. You might say that we’re canvassers to the lord if you sign anything today it’s probably gonna be spiritual. Oh calm down kid
I mean I’m a Catholic all right one thing you should know about Catholics
you can’t change us. See we spread the word of Jesus Christ our Lord the Savior
we’re not here to convert you but we’re here to have a conversation about our
beliefs and how they can help your life. Is that your wife? What the fuck did you say! Where you’re talking about God you bring up my Tramp of an ex-wife. Oh sorry. Man that’s alright at least I live with one yeah not like you guys. The whole Mormon thing you know seven wives, no? No no no that’s it’s not a thing sir that’s an
old wives tale. It’s not what I heard. Well it’s not true. Can I get some water? Sure kid help yourself. God has a plan for you. Come on. Come on what, are you happy with what you’ve done with your life? Are you happy with the
man you’ve become? God can help you become the man you always wanted to be. Kid I’ve done some bad things in my life. God is willing to forgive and be
there for you we’ve all done bad things in our life. ah, it’s too late. It’s never too late. God is an endless being of love light
and happiness, you just gotta let him in. Maybe you’re right. I know you know who
else is right, God is right he believes in you and he believes in the good in
you. We at the Latter day Saints we believe in the good in you we see the
good in you. Just give us a chance to bring it up. I think I’m gonna change I’m
gonna give this a shot, can I have a card! Of course let me just find one. I’ve done
bad my whole life I’ve done so many things wrong but I’m
gonna change all that, I’m gonna call my kids, I’m gonna apologize to ex-wife,
I’m gonna help others! I’m gonna be all that I can be. WHAT THE FUCK MARK, ARE YOU SERIOUS IT’S IN MY MOUTH, FUCK! I thought we talked about a warning next time! A warning maybe you were running that mouth yours and used your eyes you would have saw me coming. Dude you owe me a new shirt! And what was that with you almost
losing a shit back there. Loose my shit, did you hear that guy who’s making fun
of Mormons man Joey you know my girlfriend’s a Mormon that shit fucking
gets to me, it’s disrespectful Disrespectful! Yeah it’s disrespectful
man. Marc you’re a hit man who dresses up as a Mormon to kill his target Yeah what are you trying to say? You’re the disrespectful one! I’m not the disrespectful one! We sat down with those morons from Utah for like three hours we wrote down everything they would say and made sure we only say what a Mormon would say okay!
and I’m pretty sure if this guy wasn’t in such a rush you would have converted
him right here right now cuz at that performance. Thanks bud, hey I can give
you some acting pointers if you want? NO! We’re not here spread the word of God
we’re here to be the hand, you’re too busy trying to save these guys dude you
know how much I like this acting stuff I take this shit seriously. Okay Tom Hank’s. Get your ass up and lets role this son of a bitch in that ugly carpet over there. sorry man [BIRDS CHERPING] Hey, how’s it going? Hi, What are you guys doing? Oh just helping a neighbor you know latter-day saints to the rescue. This guy needs some help and we were there We helped him. Yeah I didn’t get
him, I mean we got him inside, I mean we got the carpet outside. yeah yeah
don’t go in there you know strawberry jam all over the
place spilt it what dork rub big messy Do you need help your carpet? NO NO NO, we got it, we got it, thank you your so nice… your such… I’m proud to be one. You
know great great people. So good you guys are doing such a good job you guys have a great day You too. Thank you, hey you know those are some nice fucking bikes! Go fuck yourself! Peace be with you! So Jenny’s been having me eat this kale
and spinach salad shit and it’s disgusting but to solve it I went
down to the store and got my stole some of that Newlands owns Caesar dressing
whoo I think you can put that on shit me
taste won a million bucks but you know what I feel real good though real strong
what why you gotta be an asshole I’m not being an asshole Joey I was just asking
if you’re done you being an asshole Joey every time we go out you have some
weird urge to tell me about your new nutritious discovery because somehow you
think I give a shit Rachael Ray I don’t give a shit did you
get your phone ringing hey babe not a good time yeah mark is screwing
everything up was normal yeah we’re on our way back now no babe
I’m you know it’s just I’m busy I’m just a little busy yeah I mean by lunch
oh and Sonny I thought you said this guy was married no he was divorced what yeah
just curious what was the address again baby I love you too look it was fucking
amazing I gotta go I’m really busy I’m only half
Sicilian it’s not that oh my god oh shit holy shit all right no babe it’s not you
I got to go hey everyone I’m Derrick and GBP and I’m
here to tell you about our new patreon if you can check the link in the bio and
subscribe you’ll know more about it here for every new subscriber I’m gonna take
a shot starting right now oh wow we already got one cool holy shit
you guys slow down a little bit not specially hmm all right he keeps keep
subscribing holy shit

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