Isn’t it cool, that like
like the message that I shared last night is a direct conflict
to religion like it
it hates it it hates it
it’s a, it’s a I know thank you
it’s a very, listen why did the Pharisees
hate Jesus? That is crazy, like
the very one that they read about, the very one they studied
about the very one
that they memorized the Tora about He was the one to come
the very one that God will raise up a prophet like me
and anybody who doesn’t listen to him will be cut off
like and he is right there and they study the scriptures
and in them they thought they had eternal life
and it was those very scriptures that testified about Jesus
and they weren’t willing to come to Jesus and they killed Him.
It’s crazy. Why? Because, see, when Holy Spirit comes
He just makes everybody mad that wants to be in control.
Listen, I am not speaking against any church I love the church because I am a part of one
like I love the church, I love God’s bride so I am not making fun
or beating up the body of Christ I am a part of a local church
all of you should be a part of a local church and just let me get something down on record
because I have said that there are groups that are out there
that are home groups I am not against home groups OK because they
are healthy homegroups
that actually they are meeting
house to house and it’s healthy but if you have a home group that is established
because you have been hurt by the church and you don’t want to be a part of a church
that is not good. Listen to me
local church is amazing I am a part of one
I was plugged into a church I told you my testimony
where they hated me and I still went
and I still went and I received I still went to their teaching class because
in submission to the head of a local church
see the problem is is that groups are established, I just want
to make this straight because there are people that are writing
emails like I can’t believe Todd is like
he crushes the home church I am not crushing the home church
I think that we should all meet, like we should meet, we should have
fellowship with each other
outside of the building also we shouldn’t just meet on Sunday, we should
have fellowship and like
fellowship to me is actually walking in the light as He is
in the light and talking about the things of God together.
Like it is amazing! People are like “Well
what do you do to unwind? Like do you watch, like, sports?
Or like what do you do?” I am like “I worship Jesus.”
“Yes but like, I mean what do you do to unwind?” I am like “I am not wound.”
I really am not kidding, I am like not wound. I am fired up.
And like when I meet with people or when I talk to people
I am not there to sit and watch the game and or I am not there
to come to like if I am going to have a home group
and I am going to sit there and I am going to have fellowship
here is the problem when people get hurt by the church
what they do is they pull away because actually you got hurt by religion.
So then you pull away from that and you are like “They are just legalists”
and so what happens is we get together behind the closed doors
and we establish and like gathers like so all of a sudden you’ve been hurt
so another person that got hurt they become a part of your thing
then another person becomes a part of your thing
then another person becomes a part of your thing
and then you think you have fellowship but you don’t.
What is fellowship? It koinonia, it’s relationship, it’s like
it’s like these disciples when they had in the book of Acts
they had like home church, do you understand?
It was really healthy they went
house to house breaking bread
everybody had everything in common it was like
amazing and it was celebrated thing
and there was major persecution for that
but listen they still walked in great power.
Bless you buddy. They still walked in great power, it was amazing
so I am not against home church
I am against people that gather each other together to lick each other’s
wounds that despise God’s bride
that despise God’s girl His church, His bride
that is not healthy for anybody, I am like you’re
who you think you are your reasons for being hurt aren’t justified
the only reason you got hurt by the church
listen if somebody hurt you in a legalistic way
it’s because they didn’t know who they were and they hurt you because they didn’t understand
their value they didn’t understand who they were
and you got hurt by that but the only reason you got hurt by that
is because you didn’t know who you were when it came.
So they didn’t know who they were when they did it
you didn’t know who you were when it came which is better?
They are both horrible. So we don’t ever want to have a home church
at the cost of God’s girl and the body of Christ
and koinonia and fellowship and coming together
so I just wanted to straighten that out because there ae some people who have wrote
some hate mail I get it a lot actually
it’s crazy crazy.
Where is that guy today that we prayed for
I didn’t get his name he was at the end of the
he was at the end of the the vision breakfast this morning.
Harry? You here buddy?
How are you doing? How’s them ears?
Hey. Are they good?
So today Harry came up he is 80% deaf
here is how he described it he says “I have got my good and bad ear
and I have got my bad, bad ear I am deaf in this one
I can hear a little out of this one” and he goes “You know what I don’t want?
I don’t want no fake stuff.” I said “Well good, because Jesus is real and
He loves us and I said “Come on man let’s just
what do you say we pray.”? So we are just praying together
and it is amazing like we have we filmed it, it’s just awesome and
praying for him, praying for him, praying for him
and he goes “Did you just speak louder? What is… what or what?
I said “No Sir” he goes “Well someone is playing a game” he
said He did, because he thought like
I don’t know because when you haven’t heard
since 8 years old fourteen years old
right? How old are you now?
Tell me. Sixty.
So from fourteen to sixty his hearing went out
and like just bad
just hearing loss and so we are just sitting there and we are
praying and all of a sudden I look at him and I go
on his deaf ear and he went and I started, I started losing it
and then he looks at me he goes “Whoa!”
I did it again “Whoa!” and just we cried together and he looks at me and he
said “I haven’t cried for 20 years since my dad’s
funeral.” And Jesus opened up that man’s ears today.
Stand up. Come on man.
Yay! There are a lot of people that come to these
meetings and they don’t believe in healing
Jesus is going to heal you anyway because He can
despite what you think He loves you
listen, blind eyes are opening, deaf ears are opening
do you understand? God
wants to reveal Himself to His church
so that the church can reveal Him to the world. Do you understand that?
You guys ready? I am going to share my heart a little
it’s 9 o’clock, it’s not healthy. Where is Jerimiah I am going to get him to
do worship we will do another fire tunnel.
No, no, I am just kidding, I am just kidding, just kidding.
No fire tunnel, just hang on. No I
Love you too. So people had questions about fire tunnel
it’s not about coming through to see if you can feel something
just like, just like going into water isn’t just so you can get wet.
Getting baptized isn’t just going down in the water so you get wet
something happens in there you get baptized, it’s called being buried
with Him in baptism being raised in the likeness of His resurrection
it’s different baptism isn’t something where you get baptized
as a kid religion says go and get your child baptized
when they are a baby certain denominations say that
go and get your child baptized when they are a baby
but your child has to be old enough in order to make the decision to say
I am giving my life completely do you understand that being baptized
means that you are being crucified with Christ buried with Him in baptism
when you come up out of that water you are a brand-new creation
and what happens ladies when you deliver a baby?
First thing that happens is that the water breaks
so when you go down and that water breaks what happens is that the Holy Ghost midwife
is there delivering another child for the Father.
It is way more powerful than you think that’s like, that’s powerful, powerful
that is why I got baptized like four times. But the Holy Spirit is essential
we can’t afford to say “Well we don’t need that”
because you are wrong, you do need that if you are in fear, you need Him
and I promise you in your in your relationship and you’re growing relationship
what you need to do is cultivate relationship
cultivate, you need to you need to get with some people that are
like minded so you can gather together and you can help
to iron sharpens iron
we want fellowship, we want relationship with people
it would be really good for you to find people that are part of other bodies
other local bodies, other local churches like doesn’t matter, who cares what denomination
it is OK we need to get over the whole
denomination thing because what happens
is you can even be in a non-denominational church but be very denominational.
You can say it’s non and you can persecute
and go against other denominations and you can say “them Catholic’s they need
this, and them Baptists they need this,
and you can be Baptist and say but them charismatics are crazy yet
you can say I can’t stand charismatic Christianity yet when someone cuts you off in the car your
anger flares up and you have a charismatic worship service
for the wrong god. I promise it’s true
I’ve watched it, first hand I don’t believe in charismatic
I don’t believe in this someone cuts you up
“Get out of the way you jerk” Right after they say that
it’s so crazy we need relationship with God
you know when people lift up their hands it shouldn’t be such a
a weird thing people are like “Well I don’t like that, they
lift up their hands” you’re in a denomination, you only lift up
one, lift up two? I don’t understand all this stuff
do you know what someone told me when I came into church?
when I was when I was like
going in and the five-and-a-half months I lived as a
I lived as a hypocrite full on man
full on in my life
I am talking like horrible
horrible hypocrite where I incorporated Jesus but I remember
coming I remember coming that day
into church for the first time when I saw these people with their hands up
I am like “These people are lunatics”. But hey like
I was suicidal and I went and talked to Dan that day
and I went to church on Sunday now granted I am living like a heathen
and for five-and-a-half months I lived totally heathen
but the first Sunday I went to church and saw these people with their hands up
I went “Man what is up with that?” So I went up to the worship leaders and said
“Why are people lifting their hands? It’s so weird
Like what is wrong?” The worship leader, you know what he said
to me? He said to me, he goes “Todd.
he goes “When you were three years old and you fell down and hurt your knee
and your dad or your mum was around, what did you do?”
He said “You want to pick me up.” I said “Whoa!”
I just immediately went. Yes it’s a sign of surrender
but what you are saying is “God pick me up.”
Pick me up God. You’re my dad
and I love You that is amazing.
I want to share I want to share a story with you.
Look at that didn’t hit anybody.
Sorry that was probably not nice
it was just a cap. I want to share a story with you, to you
about about the danger
the danger of hypocrisy the danger
of religion the danger
of incorporating somebody into your life instead of surrender
I want to share the reality of this, I mean you heard Keith
share Matti shared, Tom shared
it has just been awesome because we all think the same
when I when I first
when I first said “Yes” to Jesus, see some of you
how many of you do not know my testimony? Raise your hands.
Well I am not going to share the whole thing but I am going to share this
real brief I was a drug addict for 22 years and let me
tell you something I was an atheist my whole life and not one
person not one
came up to me to share the Good News with me
and I walked by many of churches I walked by many of people
and nobody shared the Good News with me which means to me that nobody believed the
Good News. It would be bad for you to incorporate Jesus
in just to have eternal life one day when you
die and not know the life that He paid a price
to give you now. It would be sad, it would be sad for you
to pray some prayer to get out of here
and pray for Jesus to get you out of here when people are going to hell every day.
It would be sad for you to say “Jesus I I, I just thank
I just thank God that I that I know You
and I am hiding inside these four walls because I know You
and I don’t want to be touched by the dirty world.
I just want to thank God that I know You and as a I read in the Bible
I know that You are coming back soon because the signs of the times are this
people are lovers of themselves and the very fact
that you are hiding inside of a church and you are not out there talking to anybody
about Jesus means you love yourself and you are a sign
of the times. We will start there.
That is the truth. I praise God that I am not like any of these,
like a Pharisee I praise God I am not like this tax collector
I give this and I do this and I tithe, I do this and, I, I,
Tax collector “Have mercy”
Jesus said which one went away justified
I tell you this tax collector and the Pharisees hated it
because they were self-righteous because on the outside they were all clean
but inside they were nasty and I am not pointing the finger at nobody
if the shoe fits, kick it off. I got dog jaw.
had a guy jump off the stage and hit the floor he landed on his feet but it was real.
Thank you. Thanks.
Sorry. So people pray, people are lovers of themselves
lovers of money here is the deal
the very fact that you can’t give offerings and you can’t tithe at your church
means that you love money more than you love God
so don’t tell me about the signs of the times when you are
walking out those very signs yourself and you are blind and you can’t see
because then Jesus comes you see that radical generosity
what happened right here what just happened?
This is like eyes to see, ears to hear what is it like to go into a restaurant
and bless your waitress instead of give her a
a tract that says “If you want a real tip find Jesus”.
What good is it for you to tell your waitress about God and then
rip her off when you leave? That’s sin.
Come on, we read the end of it people are lovers of themselves and not lovers
of God lovers of money
boasters, proud how many people because I am here preaching
and I have got dreadlocks have in your hearts judged me?
You don’t have to raise your hand. It doesn’t matter what you think
because I know my father and I know how much He loves me
so no matter what you do or what you say against me
your sin against me will never produce sin within me
but we need to get out of this mentality that Jesus is coming back to rescue you
because the Bible doesn’t teach the rapture as a rescue mission.
The Bible teaches the rapture as actually the pick up for a wedding date
for the bride that made herself ready. Relationship, Holy Spirit
communion with God reading the scriptures, studying the Truth
and having the Truth set you free and you knowing what the Bible says
and all of a sudden God begins to trim and to prune and to clip
He is the one that wants to do it God is an amazing gardener
He is an amazing, amazing teacher but so rarely do we open this Bible and ask
God teach us and help us understand
what this means we let other people do it and what happens
is we get this strong hold and faith
faith the essence and nature of faith
is to jealously guard what it believes to be true
so the scriptures, bringing them in through religion being taught a doctrine,
like God doesn’t heal today
because like only when the disciples were here
that is when He did it but He stopped it that is not in your Bible
that is in people’s theories because they have prayed
and it hasn’t happened so they have allowed that to be truth
instead of the scriptures that testify about Jesus.
So all of a sudden you are taught faith the nature and essence of faith
is to guard and protect what people believe
is true and scripture is all true
but scripture can be used as twistedness
to validate your unbelief. You can take one scripture and another scripture
over here and another scripture over here
and another scripture over here out of context
not really know why it is there for and take all these scriptures and put them
together and say this validates our doctrine.
Doesn’t validate your doctrine it validates you
because you have studied the Bible to prove that you are right
and other people are wrong what if it’s not about right and wrong
what if it is about righteousness and what if you’re
what if you are right about something and you are very wrong about trying to be
right. It is just true
the rapture is real, people teach it is not yet it is not going to happen
you’re wrong the Bible says it will. People say “Well I am not going to face a
lot of tribulation Jesus is going to rescue me out of here”.
That is why we have got this we have got this mentality to hide inside
the four walls and pray for Jesus to return. My boss is mean, my family are jerks
no one, no one likes me, no one appreciates me, it’s really hard at my job,
I can’t pay my bills, I can’t believe this God
to heaven with me and to hell with the world. It’s selfish.
It’s selfish. I am just telling you it’s selfish.
It is the wisdom of the world that is selfish It’s sensual and demonic, it’s feelings
you get your feelings hurt you’re hurt
you get hurt by a church so you don’t want to be a part of the church
so what you do is you go to another church
and you are trying to find love there and you want to find love at a church
but then you find fault because someone hurt you again
“Yes just like the last one” then you go to another church and you are
like “Well, you know I am, maybe there, wow this
is kind of different, I really like this one come over here, this is good”.
You go to another church for a little while and then all of a sudden it happens again
but you are not looking for love you are looking for fault
so we can’t plug into a local church because we keep getting hurt
so we establish these home groups at the cost
of the local church home groups
not at the cost of the local church but, but but home groups established in a
love relationship to where you are having fellowship outside
and inside that is healthy.
I love that, that is God, we need to it’s amazing
really good. Do you understand that sometimes people go
from church to church to church to church
to try to find love and you are not supposed to go to find love
you are supposed to become love then plug in somewhere.
That’s God. You plug in somewhere.
people make mistakes you need to have forgiveness, you need to
have God in you you need to know that if they fell short it
didn’t hurt you it’s hurting them you need to pray for them instead of being
hurt by them you hurt for them.
I am not talking to you about something that I, that I didn’t mess
up on I am talking to you
from a place of having lived
as a hypocrite having lived as a, in a place
of hypocrisy, do you know Jesus rebuked hypocrisy more than anything else.
He did, I don’t know if you ever read Matthew 23
it is scary man I mean scary “Woe to you”
like “Wait a minute, I thought that you were love?”
It is love but you know what hypocrisy does? See Jesus says I wish you were either cold
or hot. Why?
Because when you are cold God can take you and flip you like a light
switch man Boom, bang you never pass this middle area
He can take you and hot what is hot?
Hot is burning fully believing
fully convinced believe means to be fully convinced
but actually, like that the, and an example it gives is a house
with no empty rooms to be fully convinced for your houses
there are no empty rooms, it is filled with Him.
Or a town with no empty houses what if we were all houses of God that were
not empty but were full of God and what if your town was full of people that
were full of God. That would be the church man
this is Gods dream that He like made
become a reality and you were His reality, Jesus
you were the joy set before Him, He endured the cross
He endured the suffering Why? For the sake of Gods elect.
He did, He loves you. Like extravagantly.
You know God takes the foolish things, I love what
a preacher man was preaching God takes the foolish thing and He confounds
the wise, the wise get confounded
the reason why the wise get confounded because they are wise in their own eyes.
The wisdom of the world is sensual, demonic full of self-seeking and envy. What is self-seeking
look like? What does envy look like?
Envy looks like this “Todd White I wish I had your life”.
The only reason you wish you had mine is because you don’t know what you have got
and you don’t know who God created you to be
because if you find who God created you to be
you won’t want mine because you are the only you that God created.
Do you know that you are called not
you are called to be an imitator of God Ephesians 5 says be an imitator
of God dear children and walk in love
even as Christ loved us. Walk in love what does that look like?
Well what is love? Love is patient, love is kind
love doesn’t boast love doesn’t parade itself
love isn’t proud love doesn’t envy
love is amazing
love love forgives
love keeps no record of wrongs none
doesn’t remember, love always hopes the best it says
gifts and these gifts and prophecy and tongues which people are scared of
and power and miracles and all these things
it will end it will end
it says desire these out of all these things
desire love we tear off the gift chapter because we are
freaked out that 1 Corinthians 12
I will just tear that right out might as well tear 14 because it talks about
talks about prophecy and tongues you don’t want to mess with that one either
tear that one out might as well tear 13 out
because you can’t walk that one out in your own strength
it is about becoming who Jesus says you are it is about realizing that you have been made
right with a Holy God and you have been given the Holy Spirit
and He wants to fully possess your life He didn’t say
just partner with Him He said co labor with Him
He didn’t say just make me a partner in your life
He says I want you to surrender your life He didn’t say
like deny the devil pick up your cross and follow Him
He said deny yourself how can you deny yourself?
You have to find out what God says you are to deny that old man that one
that is supposed to be crucified with Christ
and not supposed to be resurrected
we can’t afford to put bones on the wrong flesh man, come on
can these dry bones live? He is not talking about your past.
So I remember this vision this guy had this one time
he says this he said it
that it was a dream actually this guy is an atheist
full on atheist he goes to sleep at night
he is an atheist literally
hates anything to do with God goes to bed at night and has this dream
and in this dream there is this huge valley
and he sees this like he sees a people group on one side of this
fence and another side
the fence is like this wide and he sees all these people
and he sees somebody that reminds him of the person of Jesus that people talk about
and then he sees somebody on the other side and he doesn’t have a pitch fork
and he isn’t red he’s actually attractive
he is actually desirable and he sees all these people with him
and he he thinks that this could be that one they
call the devil you have got all these people with the devil
and all these people with this Jesus
he doesn’t believe in either of this and this guy
this is a real dream this dude jumps on the fence
and everybody disappears all gone
he is by himself and he is standing
right in the middle of this field
right in the middle and all of a sudden
the devil comes back into the picture this is a real dream
really, really this is Gods mercy
and the devil says “There you are I was looking for you”
and he says “Hey I didn’t choose Him and I definitely didn’t
choose you” He said “Sure you did
the fence belongs to me”. This is a real, real dream
needless to say dude repented as soon as he woke up and became
a Christian. What is crazy
do you know that sometimes it takes people
to get to the place where God is all they have left to realize
that God is what they needed to begin with it shouldn’t be
it shouldn’t be. Do you know
that in my life when I came to Dan
I was like really, really wrecked man
I mean I was suicidal, I was done with my life
I was finished man and I went to her
to my, to my girlfriends step dads house because I came
home and she was gone
I was hooked on coke I was hooked on everything
I was hooked on weed I was hooked on everything
I had to come down I smoked weed to come down
drink a bunch of beers to come down I drank a 12 pack of beer every day.
Like that is my life I am an alcoholic, I am a drug addict
I am addicted to everything I am addicted to pornography
I am addicted to all of it. So I go that night to get a gun
over to this house it’s in the morning I drive to her step dads house
I pull into the drive way, I walk into the house
I walk by this phone book it’s crazy, it’s right beside the place I
am going to write my suicide note so I am going to say goodbye
I don’t have anything to say except I am sorry. That’s it, I don’t, what else can I say?
I don’t know what else to say I am sorry, I don’t know what to do.
I am done. Finished. I figure if I am going to kill myself, it
is over and I am done. Your Keith
Keith was going to hook a come on he was going to kill himself in a
car. Dude, God mercy.
Crazy right? So I walk by this phone book on the way to
the gun cabinet and I stopped and I flipped this thing open
instead of writing a suicide letter I had a Sharpie pen in my hand
I was going to write a goodbye letter I opened it up and it flipped open to churches
not like C. H. U… No
Churches. What! You are serious.
You have got to be kidding me. So it was mercy
that I didn’t take a gun. I am not kidding.
I hated you guys. I hated the church
it was a bunch of people that were stuck up a bunch of people that hid inside of a building
a bunch of people that needed Jesus as a crutch to get through life
because they couldn’t handle life a bunch of people that only loved themselves
and didn’t love me didn’t care about other people, only cared
about themselves and I thought all these dudes on TV were just
after your money. It’s how I thought.
So I drive to this church and I say “I need to talk to somebody”
and Dan Mohler answers the door and I said “I…”
he is “Come on in buddy”. He is all happy
I am like “What is wrong with you man?” He is like “It’s not what is wrong, it’s what
has been made right”. “What!?”
he says “Let’s go upstairs to the sanctuary”. I am thinking “Birds”.
I don’t know what a sanctuary is I have no idea, I don’t have a clue
I promise man. I am like “Whatever dude”.
So I walk upstairs with him I sit down on these chairs and he starts, I am looking at
this, it’s a big it’s like, you know, sanctuary, church, cross,
all this stuff he starts to share with me
and I said “Man I didn’t come here OK, to hear about Jesus”
he said “This is a church, what did you come for?”
I said “Because I need to talk to somebody man, that’s all
just listen to me” He said “OK I am listening”.
He is a good listener. So I am like “I did this… and I grew up
in a children’s home the masonic homes
and then I got out of there and then I joined the marines
and I went AWOL and then I got extradited across America
then I got put in jail and then I got I ran away again
then I got extradited in an orange jump suit come back across America again
they put me in the brig and then they kicked me out
gave me a Bad Conduct Discharge and I can’t get a job so I have to lie on
everything and every job I get, I quit or get fired because
I am high I go to take
drug tests and smoke a joint before I pee in a cup
I just came from the house I was going to shoot myself
because the only thing I ever had in life she hates me and she has a reason to hate
me because all I have done is nothing
I have hurt everybody and he said “You know what
since you don’t want your life, why don’t you give it to somebody that does”
I said “Come on man. Who would want my life?
I don’t have any value I have no worth.”
I didn’t know those words but that is what I meant.
All I have done was hurt people I didn’t do nothing for this God
and besides how could some dude that died 2,000 years ago
want my life, are you kidding me, a dead man can’t”
He said “Well He is alive” I am like “Come on man
some dream, pipe dream man, you are kidding me”.
But something about this guy’s eyes were real.
Like I am not kidding
like I was like like, welcome to the light.
I could see it but I didn’t know what it was and he was telling me about Jesus but I didn’t
know that light that he has was Jesus.
See if your eye is single your whole body
is full of light but if the light that is in you is darkness
how great is that darkness and if you as a Christian right now
don’t see who you are created to be you will not have light
your eye will be double vision you will be focused on a bunch of different
things when it needs to be Jesus.
It needs to be Jesus. If you came here tonight to find fault in
the message you are going to come up short
because I am possessed by God. I am possessed by a scripture
I am possessed by the truth and you will not hear
anything comes out of my mouth that is not in this Bible
because I live by the Word, I study the Word not to preach myself approved
I don’t study to preach to impress you I bring my Bible with me every time
but rarely do I put it up like this and read it
because I don’t know how to I don’t know how to do that I don’t know how
to five points…
I just don’t know and God has done this since the beginning of my
life, just he said
I couldn’t memorize I had problems man. I burned my, I fried it.
Gone. For 34 years I had never read a book before
I couldn’t read my whole life I couldn’t comprehend and when
I tried to read I would forget everything and
my brain was just like. Serious.
Twisted. So this guy goes “Since you don’t want your
life why don’t you give it to somebody that does”?
I am like “What would he want with this” and he tells me and I said “Fine, whatever,
He can have it”. That was my prayer.
That is not good. That is only not good
God will work with anything but that is not good because
that wasn’t surrender that was incorporated. You can have my life if you want it. Whatever,
there. We teach people
that we teach that
we teach people that God will take you just the way you are
and we expect that God wants you to stay that way.
That is not grace. Grace that doesn’t lead to transformation
is demonic. And so I didn’t understand this
all I knew was he was telling me how important it is to get the Word inside of me
to get the truth inside of me but I can’t read and I am like.
But that night man that morning I didn’t want to kill myself
like right away, I was like I said “Fine if He wants my life He can have
it God forgive me of my sins if you can”.
I didn’t know. And I went home and
talked to my daughter I said I called her
until I saw a note she left I said “You need to tell mommy that daddy
found God” she said “What is he like dad?”
I said “I don’t know”. I really didn’t know.
“But I saw somebody today there is something about this guy’s eyes
it’s real. This guy knows who this God is
and I am going to take you to meet this guy”. She said “Daddy, mommy’s never coming home,
she hates you” and she told
her every day how much she hated me how much of a loser and a liar? Why?
Because I because I was.
I ripped us off, I stole from us, I stole from all of her family,
I stole from all of my family I did nothing by steal, kill and destroy because
that was my dad and he was ruling me
like a slave to sin
he was my task master I was a slave to sin and I didn’t know that
there was any other life available and no Christian
came up to me and told me about Jesus that there was freedom
I saw people tell people they are going to go to hell if they didn’t change
but you know that you can’t change you, God has to change you
you don’t come to God when you feel like you are ready
you come to God when the Holy Spirit touches your heart and you are like I just
I don’t know what this is but I want this like that is crazy
God works it out inside of you He works to will and to do according to His
good pleasure but you have to know Him to have this happen
so I know Dan knows Him so my girlfriend comes home and she is freaking
out so two nights later
or two days later I got this band I am like a hard-core singer
I am like I like
yes you know any hard-core singers Matti?
A couple and so like I’m
I’m this guy that’s in front of people screaming and singing
and and having an amazing time getting people
rowdy crushing people in bars and boom, boom, boom,
boom, yeah! And I liked that.
That was me. So I have got this band that I have been with
for about three and a half years almost four years
and we have got our own stuff we are about to like
we are trying to get signed, like it is a big deal
the guys come to my house and my basement for band practice
and they are in my house and I go “Guys guess what”
they are like “What man?” I said “Man I gave my life to Jesus man”
they’re like “Shut up man” “I am serious man, He is real, I saw him in
this dude” I promise that is what I said
“I saw Him in this dude” They are like “Come on man, that’s it dude,
come on let’s roll one up” so we roll a joint
I am two days in get high
partied up couple of joints
stoned as can be “Come on man, let’s like sing”
and I notice that when I am singing and the lyrics because I was angry
I was full of hate rage and stuff
the lyrics didn’t feel good I mean, like I was full of hate, full of anger
cuss words everything and I didn’t like it, I didn’t know why, I
had no idea I didn’t know that there was a seed that was
growing in there I didn’t understand the seed thing at all
all I knew was this dude over here has this God
that night we are partying and I am like I am like “Dude I am telling you man, Jesus
is real bro you guys should meet this dude man”
they are like “Dude please, don’t, don’t say that name anymore”
they didn’t say “Please” they said “Shut the blank up”
it was horrible, like I mean, where I was I didn’t even see it
I was blind had no idea
and I am like partying with these guys and I am like look
no more and I am like “Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus,
Jesus” because I don’t know any better
I am not afraid I lived for the devil my whole life
I was a freight train for the kingdom of hell man
I was so they are like “That’s it man, we’re done”
and a couple of the guys quit, baled and took their stuff out
one guy stayed with me and he is like my best friend in the whole
world so this dude was a virtuoso
he played like Joe Satriani have you ever heard, I mean like I am talking
like the best guitar that I have ever heard
do you guys know who Phil Keaggy is? He played just like that.
I mean I am talking like closet taught musician did it all himself
doesn’t believe in it but he is like one of those
“I am glad you found your path bro” like that
right, which is a lot of people you meet like a lot of people
and I am like “Man I am telling you” he is like, he believes in ghosts, he believes
in the paranormal he believes in all this stuff
but he doesn’t believe in Jesus you know he is like “Bro, I am glad you found
your path but I don’t believe in this whole thing, you
know I mean come on man
all it is, is just this crutch that people lean on
to try to get through life but if it works for you, that’s cool
I am not going to quit man I love you but it is about
what you can do, it’s about what you can do from within, it’s the
the strength you have got to find from within” I am like “Dude I
I don’t know what you are talking about bro but
I am telling you this dude has this Jesus thing”
“Come on let’s smoke another one” and we got high that night
and he left and then I remember
like later on that night and my buzz is wearing off
and I am like I need coke so here I am out on a binge
again I come home
I remember putting my daughter to bed and telling her that daddy found God
everything is going to change everything is going to change
she is like “Daddy I am so glad daddy I am so glad you found God”
I said “I am going to take you to meet this guy”.
Out on a coke binge and hour after I have put her to bed.
I come home in the morning there they are on the couch
mum and daughter on the couch, slumped together on the couch.
I come in “You hypocrite”
“No, everything is going to change” “Whatever, shut your face, I hate you”
My daughter “Daddy, you promised” and I did promise
and I called that guy Bobby and I am like “Hey man
can we get together again bro? I like that you are cool with like, listening
to me you are my only friend”.
I would call Dan all the time
and Bobby would come over for band practice we would party, we would get high
and it was the same old stuff. I remember one time it was only a couple of
weeks in I am upstairs
and man Jackie said something, it made me really mad
I went back in the bedroom right above the band room
and I punched a hole straight through my closet door.
Straight through. I started screaming and cussing, freaking
out. I hate this.
I hate you. I got a Christian confession
it’s crazy. That is why He never said go out and make
confessing Christians. He said go into the world and make disciples.
I didn’t know any better and I walk, I am talking
I am not talking to you from a place of me not living this
horrible, hypocritical life but I am telling you
that there is grace for transformation I don’t know anything I go out the back door,
I walk out the back steps man I am so mad, I wipe the tears away, it’s
rage I walk in the door
Bobby is in there “Hey bro, Jesus loves you man”.
He is like “Come on man, It’s enough” I am like “No I am serious man, you have got
to meet this dude man he is like amazing”
He said “Here I already rolled one up. Come on”
I am like “Alright, Gee cool man. Awesome.” And I am sitting there and I am partying
and I am getting high talking about Jesus
there are people in the church today
that still believe this way they believe that it is OK to get high
they get marijuana licenses and say we know it’s medicinal purposes
and God says be sober. People say well you know what hey I can chill
I can go to the bar and I can I can witness to my friends
it’s cultural man. Since when is addiction culture?
Since when is addiction culture? It’s not culture.
Since when is taking Jesus’s face putting it in the mud
holding Him up with a dirty face and saying “Here’s my King
you want to serve Him?” Since when is that culture?
That is not culture. That’s the truth it’s really twisted.
We are not going to I am not going to go into a bar and party
and drink with people now that I know the truth
and go in there and get a couple of beers with some people
so I can witness and say “I just need to be culturally relevant”.
Since when did God call you to sacrifice truth on the altar of being culturally relevant?
Maybe we need to know the Truth maybe you need to know the other side and
the danger of this thing.
So months went by man, same thing I am telling him about Jesus
Jesus, Jesus, you know what happens when you live this way?
In front of people you proclaim the name of Jesus
you know what happens when you’re a boyfriend
and a girlfriend and you are living together
and you’ve said that you love God and the people around you
know that it is not OK for that to happen and you say it’s OK
you have just taken yourself and you have taken yourself
out of the place of what Jesus said we are supposed to be
and you have made yourself in the world
and of the world and there is nothing about your life that they want.
This isn’t legalism. I am telling you this is dangerous man.
So months went by months went by I am in this five-and-a-half-month
process like of this horrible hypocrisy
the one where I incorporated Jesus in I didn’t surrender
wasn’t full on it is dangerous man
but I didn’t understand how dangerous it was I mean the other band guys they are done
they’ve bailed, they are, they are done but my best friend
he has got this three-and-a-half-year daughter and a seven-and-a-half-year-old son
and he is like a great dad I am talking like this dude is a great dad
and he doesn’t have Jesus he is just a good dad
he doesn’t have God to give his kids but he is there for his kids
he cuddles with his kids he loves his kids
he teaches his kids they go out in the woods and
man this dude has it made he doesn’t have to have a job
because they inherited a property and their house
so they have their own house they have no mortgage payment
all they have is an electric bill and like a phone bill and a water bill
that’s it and I think their water was well so probably
not a water bill. So all they have is that
so the wife works a part time job a couple of hours
just to get that and have it’s crazy
like they have got it made and he is my best friend man
and I am trying to tell him how amazing God is
and we are partying and we are getting high and five and a half months went by
and I have lived this life and I go out one night
and I pick up this kid in my home city I rip him off because I am out of coke
I am out of drugs, I am out, five and a half months in
lived as a full-on hypocrite going in Sunday “Hallelujah” all that
but no relationship. God gave me a talent of singing
but I don’t even know what it is for. It’s to glorify me because I want people to
look at me “Praise the Lord”
“Oh man you are a beautiful singer” “Thank you”.
I don’t even know why and even though I wanted to sing to Jesus
I didn’t know how to sing from my heart so I was singing from my head so people would
see me. I was seeking to receive honor from people
because I didn’t know what it was like to receive honor from my Father.
I was living by the fear of man but I was as twisted as could be
my whole life was jacked up and whacked out. So five and a half months go by
I go out one night and I pick up this kid it’s the last night of my binges.
I went out and I am at a pay phone I am at Turkey Hill or West Barker Street
man at the pay phone I’m
like “Hey man” like this guy’s got to answer how about this one,
no one is answering I turn around and there is my daughter and
there is my girlfriend behind my car. They followed me out of town
my daughter is standing there “Daddy you promised you would never do it
again” and I told her every day
I would never do it again and even though
I didn’t want to I did it
and even though I knew the right thing to do
I did the wrong thing that happens
when you are trying to do this thing in your own strength
and you haven’t submitted to God and His truth and you haven’t admitted that His Word
is way above anything that you would believe
about yourself and that the Holy Spirit is the only one
the author and the revelation of this Truth He is the author of the world and all scripture
is God breathed all scripture is inspired by God
people will say “Well men wrote the book” I get it but they were inspired by God
it’s scripture after scripture after scripture intertwines itself
backs itself up all over the Word
and we take all these different books and we glorify them and say that this is an
amazing book and we don’t even know the author of the one
that wrote the book and we wonder where our life is, where our
peace is, where our God is in that book man.
It’s alive. Transforms but I am at this place so I am
not trying to tell you I can’t relate
because I am in a place where I can’t even read
so I have to get other people to teach me because I can’t read
so I had no relationship with the author you know in the beginning was the Word, the
Word was with God and the Word was God
do you understand that? Like when you are looking at the Word
you are looking at the very face of God no one can look at the face of God and live
because if God reveals His Word to you your face
you come out of your closet looking like Jesus when you see who you are by the Spirit
there is no way to see who you are except by the Spirit
we all with an unveiled face beholding as in a mirror
the glory of the Lord are being transformed
transformed into what? Back into the original image that God created
us to be in the garden except the difference between the first Adam
and the last Adam is the first Adam
had God with him talking the last Adam paid a price for God to be in
us speaking and if God is in you, speaking and you have
relationship with Him and He reveals the truth of the Word you study
to show yourself approved not preach yourself approved
God will take He will knit that Word together inside of
your heart regardless if you can get it with this or
not your heart will
and the Holy Spirit and your spirit become one
and they link together and you become flesh of His flesh
and bone of His bone and you start to see the things that God loves
you start to see the things that God hates God hates sin
because it separates people from Him you can have a Christian confession
believe that one day you are going to go to heaven when you die
confess with your mouth, believe in your heart that you shall be saved
you can bring Jesus into your heart and hold back your life
Jesus didn’t say he wanted your heart, He said He wanted your life
so I didn’t know this but I saw Dan and he was surrendered
it was amazing so that night I called, dealers not there
girlfriend is “Get in the car I hate you I hate you”, screaming at me at the top of
her lungs I pull out of the parking lot
I lose them I go down the back streets
I go onto East Maple Street, New York Pennsylvania, pick up this dealer
tell him I am a cop rip him off
tell him to get out of my car and he gets out of the car
and I hit the gas and he unloaded a 9mm at me
from 10 feet away I was right there
it was in my back window and a voice said “I took those bullets for
you. Are you ready to live for me yet?”
For real. None of you were there
“Well I wasn’t there” you didn’t want to be there
but I was there and I am the one that got shot at
and I am the one that heard that voice and it was tormenting me
I go home that night I smoked all
you think that is enough no I smoked all the drugs tried to make this
voice go away and every time I took a hit
that voice killed my buzz all night long.
I am going nuts because it was real cocaine from New York
city the taste, everything, the frenzy, all of
it my endorphins cranking.
No high. “I took those bullets for you.”
“Shut up” I am trying to get high
all night long I get home in my driveway and pull in
go outside of my car with a flash light and there is not one bullet hole in my car.
A voice banging
“I took those bullets for you” I go up to my door and my girlfriend says “Get out
I hate you” and my daughters screaming. I left
three days later I I am going to be in Teen Challenge
but the next day I called my friend Bobby and I said “Hey bro
man, I went out last night, man I got shot at”
he goes “No way” he goes “Are you in the hospital?”
I said “No man” I said “It’s the craziest thing” and I shared
this story. I didn’t know it was a testimony
I just thought it was a story and I said to him
I said “Dude this guy unloaded a 9mm” he goes “Did you get hit at all?”
I said “not even my vehicle, from 10 feet away”
he said “that guy was a bad shot” I said “Bobby
it was right outside of my window man. I watched, you know when a gun blast goes
off in the middle of the night in the dark and it’s a 9mm
do you understand it is like lightening.
Echo and that voice killed the ringing from the gun blast
and I am telling him he said “Man that guy was a bad shot man”
I said “Well I have decided man today, that I am going to this rehab bro”
he is like “What do you mean?” he goes “Oh good for you, you need help”
I said “I do need help man, I can’t do this by myself”
he goes “Man I have been trying to help you but
you need to go get some professional help” I said “Man I am going to get some professional
help” I said “I am going to this rehab called Teen
Challenge” he goes “But you are not a teenager”
I said “I know they accept all ages”. I was 34.
I am 46. I said to him “I have got to go to this thing”
I said “and there is a catch man. I am not allowed to talk to you while I am
in there” he said “that is cool man, I will be here
for you, it’s only like 28 days” I said “No its 12 months”.
He goes “What! Why would you go to a rehab for 12, what kind
of a rehab is 12 months?” I said “They don’t talk about drugs, they
don’t talk about any…” I have been through the 12 step programs,
I have been through them man it made me want to use
say “Hi my name is Todd and I am an alcoholic” What do I do? I fight alcohol.
“Hi my name is Todd and I am a recovering addict.
What do I do? I fight addiction” Well I can’t fight addiction, I am not strong
enough to fight addiction. The 12 steps, if the first step is finding
your higher power and you become your higher power
that is an issue. You put your, You
“I will be my higher power” Great, my friend will be my, they don’t have
a higher power your accountability partner
can’t keep you accountable “Well no they are my sponsor”
OK I get it but what good is it man, “I am going to use
man” “Man you don’t need to use man, you can do
this lets go through these steps”. “OK alright, I am going to use”
That is how I was my whole life man. How many people have ever been through addiction
and that’s the nature of it. How many people have gone to meetings and
wanted to use as soon as you left? Only four?
How many of you Yeah, come on
come on Yay.
So the deal is is that like I wanted to use so
I am telling Bobby “Listen man
I have got to go and learn about Jesus” he goes “What do you mean?”
I said “Well this program it doesn’t
you don’t talk about drugs you talk about Jesus”
“Why would you go and learn about
why would you go and learn about somebody that’s not real?”
I go “Whoa bro
what are you talking about? Dude I am telling you this guy
he knows Jesus, that God spared my life like” “No, no, no, you, the guy was a bad shot,
you heard voices” “You don’t understand
Jesus is real” “Why would you go?”
“Well listen” I said “Well dude I am going away for 12 months
and I am not allowed to talk to you” “Why can’t you talk to me?”
I said “Because I am not allowed to have any contact with the outside”
he is like “No, this is stupid” I said “It may be stupid man
but you are more of a dad than I have ever been
and I can’t do this to my daughter no more she deserves better than this
I should be dead, I have got to give up” he said “What are you giving up to?
Dude you are going to go away and find out that you are going to learn about somebody
that is not real you are going to waste 12 months of your life”.
I am like “No, man I am going to know Him will you do me a favor?”
he says “What?” I said “Will you be here when I get out, so
we can play music?” he says “Yes”
he says “I will” I said “Man, thank you so much man.
I am going to go learn about Jesus” he goes “Man
you are going to find out that He is not real. Listen
I believe in you I don’t believe in this Jesus”
and I said “Why not?” he goes “Todd
if Jesus was real don’t you think your life would of been a
little bit different. If He was real, I mean you are a good person
don’t you think your life would be different? Todd let’s face it
every Christian has this same thing
He is a crutch and they hide inside the churches
and they point the finger and think they are better than people”
I said “That is not how this dude is” he said “Well I don’t want to meet him
I know you” I said “Well man when I get back I am going
to talk about Jesus” he goes “Well, you are going to go and find
out that He is not real” I said “Can we get together man, hang out
before I go?’ and he is like
he is like “Man we can’t I have got this, like I have got
this to do and this and this”
I said “Well I will call you right before I take off”
he is like “OK”. So the third day
three days later when I am going to Teen Challenge I called him
and I left a message on his answering machine I said “Bro
let me just tell you something man I love you so much man
I am going to go and find out about Jesus and when I come back
I am going to sing about Jesus because I know he is real, I just
I, I need to find out like, who He really is, He is going to show
me the end says He is going to show me
and I am going to open the Bible even though I can’t read and
I leave this message on this thing and “I love you man”
you know and then the answer I go up to Teen Challenge
and I am there I submit, I surrender, lose my girl
lose my daughter everything
because I cannot do this anymore. You know where the devil is resisted?
The devil is resisted in your submission. It is not submit to God that you fight the
devil no, it’s submit to God and the devil is resisted
but when you say you submit to God, do you surrender all
and you take His Word and you elevate it to where Jesus did.
Listen, you can’t fight the devil you think you can fight the devil
get behind me satan, that doesn’t work you have to know the Truth so when the devil
comes you don’t listen to him anymore
but I have no idea but Dan does and so I am lost man
but now I am found because I gave up so I went up to Teen Challenge, I am in there
I am submitted to God I surrendered all
I did it is the one step program.
You can’t find out who you really are, until you submit to the one that created you
I don’t understand except I give up I am done. So I am up in Teen Challenge three days later
I get a phone call here is the phone call
I come down in the office and the counsellor looks at me and he goes
“Todd your pastor is on the phone” and he has got this face like
“You need to sit down” I go “Oh my gosh”
I owed so much money to drug dealers I thought that Jackie or Destiny, my daughter
or my girlfriend got killed.
Why? Because I owed so much money with drug addiction
comes like, stealing and all that stuff I owed so much man
and all of a sudden like I have got this fear inside that someone
has killed that I caused my family
that, that, that I have ruined to die
I am like “What happened?” I said “Don’t tell me, what happened to Jackie
what happened to Destiny?” he says “It’s not Jackie, it’s not Destiny
it’s Bobby”. I said “What happened?”
he said “Bobby had a brain aneurysm” I said “What is that?”
he said “A blood vessel burst in his brain and he is in a coma”
I go “You are kidding me” he goes “No”
Hear the day that I called and left that message on Bobbies answering machine
that day on the floor
in the kitchen he had a brain aneurysm.
Now he is my best friend
he is the only one that stood by me besides Dan
he is it like, in the midst of that wreck “I love you
it’s all about you” and I thought to myself “No”.
No, I screamed I ran upstairs I ran into the prayer room, I didn’t run out
the front door I went up, I said “Why!?
No! I am crying
and the Spirit of God said “You are not going anywhere”
and I said peace hit me for the first time in my life
and I stayed in Teen Challenge and I was there and
I submitted I couldn’t help Bobby anyway
I had to surrender I gave up.
So two months later I have these three nights where I have encounters with Jesus and He
really sets me free you guys know the testimony
I go home and help with the church then I go to my house
and my girlfriend comes out of the house I told her how sorry I was and I tell my daughter
she says “I know you are, when you went away I gave my life to Jesus”.
It’s powerful and we got married four days later
I mean it’s amazing. But the day after
the day after we got married I hear in my heart
go up and visit Bobby. So my best friend in the whole world
I go up and he is in a convalescent home in a place
up in Crosskeys in a brethren home and his skull is bulging out his brain
because they had to cut away because he is in a coma
he is a vegetable there is no coming back
I don’t understand healing I do understand this
that I knelt at his bed and I said “Bro, I am so sorry
I brought Destiny my daughter with me because she knows him
he was like a best friend I said “I am so sorry man”
and I looked at his wife I said “I am sorry” she said “For what? Why are you sorry you
didn’t do this” I said “I know but, but Jesus…”
she goes “Jesus! Look at my husband
and you are going to tell me that there’s a Jesus!
You are kidding me. Shut your mouth”
I said “I can’t” She runs in the corner, she puts her hands
on her hip like this I am holding his hand
he didn’t go he didn’t squeeze my hand
dead stared, done, comatosed and all of a sudden
for 30 seconds of my life all the hypocrisy “Hey man Jesus loves you”
like it is not a big deal. It is a big deal.
Why is it a big deal? Because I was Bobbies only friend
I was the only one that he would listen to the only one
“I need you to go meet Dan dude, this guy is amazing”
“I don’t want to meet him you are my friend”.
I was the only one, he wouldn’t talk to anybody I was like
I was his only, he was like a hermit just a quiet guy
family guy loved his family, loved his kids
he is not home right now and I said “Dude I am sorry man, I am sorry
I am sorry and I am singing
loud in the hospital
not to get glory but to bring glory to the King
and share how sorry I am, he didn’t wink he didn’t do anything
and Betty is covering her ears my daughter is bawling profusely
and I held his hand and I said “I will never be a hypocrite again” but it was too late
for him too late
for him and I left that day and I went home and I
went and held my wife and told her and
I don’t understand healing stuff, none of it
none all I know
is I was lost, now I am found I was blind
now I see but as I lived and walked blind
as I lived and walked lost with a confession my best friend said “I don’t believe in Jesus,
I believe in you” but life is a gift
but life is here you are here today and gone tomorrow
it is not like you are here today for a certain
listen no one knows
and next morning I get a phone call
Bobby died he died saying “I, hey, I don’t believe in
Jesus but I believe in you”. I am not guilty
this isn’t shame or condemnation that you see.
The next day after that the wife called me Betty says
“Todd you were Bobby’s only friend he would have wanted you to speak at his funeral”
Oh no God what am I going to do?
She said “Just think about it OK and call me back”
I get off the phone and I told my wife I said “They want me to speak at Bobby’s funeral”
she goes “Oh what are you going to do?” I said “I was his only friend”.
So I called Betty back I said “I’ll, I’ll do it, I don’t know what I am going to say”
she goes “It doesn’t matter just come”.
So they planned the funeral I get there
it is a small funeral because he didn’t know a lot of people, it
was just family all unsaved, unchurched, no Jesus at all
and here I am, the band members that quit are there, sobbing man
and our buddy his shell is behind me in the casket
and he is right here but he is not here and I watched his kids come up
his three-and-a-half-year-old kid little daughter.
Mommy holding the daughter “Daddy wake up”. The pastor, whoever it was doing the funeral
“This was Bobby’s only friend he is going to speak today”
I come up there all night long God just spoke to me
about what it means to be a friend I wasn’t Bobby’s friend
I wasn’t because I didn’t know
that God was my friend. See friendship and the world
you find out who your friends are if you go to prison
no one comes to visit you games over, you are a party. you’re a buzz
kill I don’t want to go there
whatever you get out “Hey bro, what’s up?”
Oh come on. What does a friend do?
A friend lays his life down for his friend
you know why? You know why?
Because that is what Jesus would do. So I preached at his funeral, first time
I wasn’t a friend, I watched that little kid “Daddy wake up”.
I had to tell them “Kids there is only one name
under heaven His name is Jesus and your daddy died telling
me that he believed in me but he didn’t believe
in Jesus and I misrepresented Jesus to your daddy”.
Pretty much I had to tell the kids their daddy’s in hell
do you understand how horrible that is
you say well that was mean to do to the kids I can’t lie
I lied my whole life and I was losing it so bad and the pastor
came up and he did an altar call
and half the funeral home got saved. Listen
here is the deal you think it is not a big deal when you sit
there and you call grace this or that
it is a big deal to me because I didn’t understand it
but grace isn’t a license to sin you know why?
Because Jesus grace and Truth came through Jesus
and He paid a price for you to be clean He paid a price for you to live
Holy not in your own strength
because of the strength of Holy Spirit He paid a price for you
to walk a life, live a life
worthy of the Gospel He paid a price for you
to purify yourself even as He is pure
and you can’t do it in your own strength you need God
you need God you need God
I know that you all have Bobby’s in your life everybody does
everybody does and I am really sorry if you are here and
the church has hurt you and you got mad at the church and stuff
but I promise you what I am preaching right now
is authentic and I am not the best preacher in the world
but I do know Him and He is and I am telling you, you don’t have to be
a hypocrite any more. Ever, again.
Ever. So here is the deal
some of you are mad at God some of you are hurt by
the church, some of you think that God did stuff that He never did
some of you are here last night and you heard this
and you heard that, whatever but some of you have blamed God for things
that God never did the thief comes to steal, kill and destroy,
not God the thief
God is a good God, all good gifts come from the Father of lights
that means the bad ones come from another one
some of you have been so hurt by the church that you don’t
want nothing to do with the church if the shoe fits, kick it off
some of you don’t know who God is as a Father
and it has been an amazing conference but it will be sad
for you to leave here not knowing Him so if you don’t know God
I would like you to come up here right now, please.
If you don’t know God now would be a great time
If you don’t know God I need you up here right now
I need you to move to the front. Who else?
Come on listen, if you have been wrapped up in religion
but you really don’t know God and you are tired
of living as a hypocrite you are tired of it
I want you to come up here right now come on
get up here let’s not play
let’s do this. Have I got that dude on the keys?
can someone come play keys the guy that’s the worship, Zac? Is that his
name Zac? Is he outside?
OK. Is Jeremiah here?
It’s late. I know.
I will play keys. Zac I need you bro, come on
appreciate you buddy man
all we’re saying is I don’t want to be a hypocrite no more
I want to live full on for Jesus I wouldn’t leave right now
because we are going to pray for healing in just a couple of minutes
it will be amazing I promise.
If you are living a life of hypocrisy
and you want to be done I need you to come up here now.
“I don’t want to move, people will know” God already knows
why be exposed like
to sin, why not just get rid of that thing, kick it to the curb
and this isn’t a call this isn’t a call that you be embarrassed
and ashamed this is a call to be
be forgiven and shame be kicked out the door this is beautiful
come on guys if you are in this, I need you up here
you come forward a little more because people are coming
I need everybody in here that would say I have been living a life
secret there is just stuff behind the closed doors
I have been hiding praise God
I have been hiding this thing, God sees your sin
are you kidding me? Why not be free from that
come on how many of you have Bobby’s in your life?
Come on nobody, you all need different friends
you need more friends friends that aren’t saved so you can make
an impact on their life no shame
say I am done. Hey proud of you man.
Love you bro, give me some. Jesus.
Real grace empowers you to walk out what real Truth calls
you to. Real Truth
real Truth is only empowered by the Spirit of Truth
the Spirit of Grace and Truth came through Jesus
so I want all of you that aren’t hypocrites stretch out your hands.
See I, I completely believe that God will mark you
and sear you and change your life forever
so there doesn’t have to be a Bobby in your life
people are like, you have shared this testimony before
it’s still surreal this thing marked my life forever
God marked me and for 30 seconds I was condemned when I looked into Bobby’s eyes
and I realized all the times that I told him Jesus loves him and backed
it up with getting high and all the time
you know Jesus doesn’t want us to do witnessing he wants us to be a witness
and a life that is free pure religion is this
caring for orphans and widows what is an orphan?
It is the child, it’s the children that don’t have parents
but let me tell you an orphan is the church that doesn’t know the Father.
What is a widow? It’s true
it’s a woman that’s husbands past away and doesn’t have a husband
but it is the bride that doesn’t know that she is married
and what is keeping yourself unspotted from the world?
Keeping yourself unspotted from the world. Clean, why would Jesus tell us that if it
wasn’t possible? Why would a person like Peter say be Holy
as He is Holy? a person that denied Jesus
how could he say that? He could say that because
the revelation of sonship had dawned in Peters heart
and he was revealed by the Father
to him when the Holy Spirit came.
You are my Son in whom I am well pleased what would it be like
for you to wake up right with God knowing that you are Gods kid
that He is well pleased with every day you would stop listening to the devil lying
to you that is what is going to happen
OK are you ready?
Hey all all God is asking you for
is everything you are all He is asking you for is to surrender to
something that you were never created to be in the first
place because God didn’t create you for you, he
created you for Him so all He is asking you for is what
something that doesn’t belong to you anyway and what do you get in return?
Like you trade this life which really is not
awesome at all for His life
it’s like here is some
a lot of trash for the most amazing
jewels, the most amazing gold, the most amazing life ever
Jesus said abundant life
have it abundantly see what is happening is Jesus is going to
crown you because he loves to
it says that we in this life
should reign as kings through the free gift of righteousness and
the abundance of grace being right with God
God looks at you He says you are a royal priesthood
a holy nation set apart it is what He calls us
royal priesthood Holy nation
royalty and holy
it is not blasphemy that’s biblically
so to say this look we have had like, this whole conference has
been like heart surgery
I love it, Jesus is like so awesome
say this Lord God I am done
living for me I just surrender all
I surrender all I commit
to a life of continual
repentance I commit
to this pure heart that you have given me and these clean hands that you say I can have
I commit to admitting
that I am poor in spirit and that you are my teacher
and you say that if I say I am poor in spirit
mine is the Kingdom of God I commit
to seeking first
the Kingdom of God and His righteousness
and everything will be added to me I will not position myself
to get stuff I will not just go after the gifts
I want to know the giver I want to know you Holy Spirit
in Jesus name Amen.
Yay. Proud of you
OK here is what we are going to do.
Yay Jesus look at you dude
He is wrecking you from the inside out.
Wow! You know
now you can just rebel against sin it is awesome OK so here is the deal
we want people healed if you don’t believe
doesn’t matter what you believe God wants you healed
I want to talk about healing just for a second and then we are going to pray for each other
you guys are going to help me pray all you all too
OK it’s great
like and little kids they don’t get a junior Holy Spirit
well we have seen that this week right? OK so here is the deal
with healing I just want to go over a couple of things
alright people are taught
constantly in different places that
if you get prayer just believe that you are healed
confess that you are healed and don’t lose that confession that you are healed
I understand that I want to believe with you for that
but here is the deal teach people that they are not supposed to
ask for prayer and they are still hurting I have been at meetings
and they are like “Does anybody need prayer?”
I have watched everybody hobble out of the church like this
“What are you doing?” “I am healed brother, praise God by His stripes
I am healed” I agree
that is what the Bible says but we need the manifestation
of that healing so James 5:14 says this
Is any of you sick? Let him call and ask for prayer.
Let him ask for prayer, it is not wrong to ask
it is not listen I don’t care if you have been prayed
for 100 times it is not wrong to ask
again, we are like that lady in court
I need justice I want what He paid for
I want this thing to go I need healing
I am waiting for the body of Christ to get this
like it is so crazy someone comes up to somebody and says
“Hey can you pray for me for healing?” “Well you know you need more faith”
Jesus never told that to anybody He never said get some more faith, come back
and we will deal with it then He never said well you know what, it is just
not God’s time if it was His time you would get healed
Jesus never told that to anybody do you know that Isaiah
way back 700 years before Jesus was even here
that by His stripes you are healed, so you know that 1 Peter 2:24
says that by His stripes you were healed so somewhere between you are and you were,
you is. First of all when we pray for people
this is a big deal we want to know what is Gods will?
How do you determine Gods will? God’s will is not determined because you prayed
for somebody and they didn’t get healed
God’s will is determined by the life of Jesus
Jesus only came to do the will of God sometimes people believe that sickness
is from God to teach people a lesson I hear it all the time
listen Jesus came to only do the will of God
so if God made people sick and Jesus healed them
He would have been going against His Father a house divided can’t stand
can’t. Jesus said in John 5:19
the Son can do nothing of Himself and that word means nothing
absolutely zilch, nothing I can do nothing by myself
what I do I do because the Father does it and what the Father does the Son does in like
manner. Now when Jesus prayed for the sick
He didn’t heal the sick as God
He healed the sick as a man
in right relationship with God filled with God.
He had to do what He did as a man because the law had to be walked out by a
man in order to fulfill the covenant that God
made with man and God Jesus was tempted at all points
yet without sin this would be a bad time for you to walk out
don’t you let your pride separate you from something that God wants
to do in and through you don’t you let pride
separate you from God don’t you think and be haughty
in your heart and think well this is blasphemy
read your Bible and ask the Holy Spirit to reveal it to you
instead of studying doctrines that people have made up
at the cost of Truth and that sets people free
Jesus wants to use you the Holy Spirit is still alive and active
the disciples walked with Jesus nowhere in the Bible does it say it died
you can make the Bible say whatever you want listen people try to tell me that
and I have seen thousands of people healed and there are hundreds of people that should
be dead right now and that are alive because I didn’t drop the
ball on this thing I am going to go after this with everything
I am regardless of what people think
I have been in a hospital room “Well praise God, you know if He wants to
He will” I said “He wants to”
“Well who do you think you are?” in a hospital room
to a guy that is in a coma because I know
because God has done it, He loves us we don’t do the Christian thing and say
“Well if there had been more faith in the room maybe he would have got up”
where is your faith? The Bible says these signs will follow them
that believe in My Name they will lay hands on the sick
and the sick shall recover
I am waiting for believers to get to this place
and you pray for them and they don’t get healed and then all of a sudden they look at you
and they say “I really need help I need you to stand in faith for me”
“Well you need more faith” no the Bible says that
these signs shall follow them that believe
I am struggling with my belief, where is your belief at?
Come on, pray for me and make me better.
That would be scary that is actually what the Bible says.
So Jesus didn’t heal
as God He healed as a man
in right relationship with God because of agency
of God the Holy Spirit
the Holy Spirit through Jesus Your Kingdom come
Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven
He said Your Kingdom come. Where?
Here. What is the Kingdom?
Romans 14:17 defines it and says the kingdom of God is not meat and drink
but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost
so Jesus says when they say here is the Kingdom there
there it is there don’t look here, there for I tell you the
Kingdom is within you
and that word “within” actually means in the midst of
so it is in you, upon you, around you and it is in the Holy Spirit
seek first the Kingdom and His righteousness means seek first the
relationship with Holy Spirit that you have
and God’s government that rules and reigns from inside of you
through agency of Holy Spirit, Christ in you the hope of Glory.
I am saying all that just to lay this down so that when we pray for people you know where
it is coming from you are not a healer
don’t you try to take glory for it don’t you let it go to your head
and think “Yes I am the guy that healed that guy
I am the guy” listen especially with kids
I love to teach kids because it is like putting dynamite in people’s hands
people will say “Wow you are amazing” “Well that wasn’t
me that was Jesus” and then just a little while later
“Yes of course I can pray for you” and all of a sudden it is happening
and you think that God has called you to ministry what if God just calls you a Christian and
that is normal. Here is what I have to say right after this
and then we are going to pray it says in Timothy
I think it’s I think it’s 1 Timothy 3:12 it says
all those that desire to live godly will
you will get persecuted for this thing
if you are in a church that doesn’t believe in this
and you have tried this out in your church might not be a good idea
but you can be out in town and at Walmart and at grocery stores
and God will flow through you and word will get back to your church
and they will confront you do not be haughty and tell them they are wrong
and you are right you be humble
and you love God with all your heart and you submit to the head of your church
don’t just bail on them and say “Well you don’t want to believe my way I will
go somewhere where they want to” No, we are not supposed to bail on our church
bail on our brothers you love Jesus with all your heart
and you pray for people in public no one can stop you
but if your head says don’t do that here honor the head man
don’t tell him you are wrong and I am right, now I know the truth
that’s that’s pride
it is a big deal people get really upset at this thing
because I promise you that God is going to use you
promise you, He will He is going to give you words of knowledge
He is going to touch people through you He is amazing
He is do you get it?
So when we pray it is God that flows through us but always
God gets the glory kind of like that donkey that I shared yesterday
we are just carrying the King we are a messenger to deliver the package
but it all points to the one who paid the price to have it delivered
enough, let’s pray ready?
OK everybody that has any sickness
or any disease in your body what so ever here is what I am telling you
you believe that by His stripes you are healed
I get it, I am with you on page but we want the manifestation of that healing
to happen you have been prayed for once and you have
been taught it is not faith if you get prayed for again
that is not true you are saying
I have something here that I want to go I know the Bible says that it needs to go
I haven’t seen it go would you join me so we can kick this thing to the curb.
Why would you not want to give Jesus the full reward for His suffering
He didn’t just suffer to get you to heaven He paid a price to get heaven into you
so you could be possessed and walk with the kingdom flowing through you
constantly destroying hell for a living it is where heaven becomes my destination,
not my mission my mission is not to get to heaven
my mission is to destroy the works
of the devil 1 John 3:8
and then one day I am going to enter into glory
but I believe that as we walk out the reality of the call of Christianity in
our life we are going to see
heaven populated heaven filled
and hell empty Amen.
If you have got any kind of pain sickness, disease I don’t care what it is
whatever it is if you have got pain
it’s qualified it needs to go
if you have got arthritis if you have got problems at all
I want you right now to stand to your feet I don’t care who you are, where you are at
come on let’s do this. OK
OK people who are standing raise one arm
raise your good arm alright
people who are around them I want you to gather around
and I want you to put your hand on their shoulder come on
this is the time where you don’t have to come to the guy on the stage
because the man of power for the hour is done it has been done
it is not about the dude on the stage it is about Christ
now listen, it is about Christ in us the hope of glory
so what we are going to do is we are just going to gather round our brothers
and sisters right now when somebody is around you put your hand
down if somebody has got their hand on you they
are going to pray for you put your hand down
if somebody is around you and they are praying for you
put your hand down Jesus I pray that they hear me right now and
you open their ears OK, here is what we are going to do
it’s easy if somebody is sick
the easiest thing to do when you pray
if it is a neck you say “Neck be healed in Jesus name”
if it is a knee “Knee be healed in Jesus name” it’s not your prayer that heals the sick
it’s faith prayer doesn’t heal the sick
your prayer doesn’t heal the sick He does
do you understand? So watch it is easy
we will just start we will just do this everybody say this “In the name of Jesus
head be healed headaches go
ears be opened eyes see
throat be healed shoulder be healed
neck be loosed brand new discs
lungs be healed hearts be healed
organs be healed elbows be healed
wrists be healed hips be healed
herniated discs be made whole sciatic nerve be loosed
diabetes get out hemopathy go
all numbness and tingling go hips, knees
ankles in the name of Jesus
right now be healed
every joint be healed
right now digestive disease
acid reflux get out
right now ulcers go
colitis go crohn’s disease go
healing in Jesus name from the top of our head
to the bottom of our feet right now
in Jesus name terminal diseases
get out” I want everybody in this house right now
I want everybody to check your body physically whatever it was
wrists, ankles now I am talking whatever it was
bend, check, ankles, knees, squat check, check your shoulders, move your neck
right now everybody
if there is any change in your physical body right now
I want you to wave both hands over your head right now
pretty good for starters now
put your hand on somebody besides you I want you to ask that person what they need
prayer for you heard how it happens
neck be healed back, whatever it is
I want you to command that thing to be healed in Jesus name
in the name of Jesus you are not the healer but He is
and He lives in you and He wants to have His way in and through
you if you are a man do not put your hand
on a woman’s lower back don’t
don’t put your hand on a woman’s belly unless it is your wife
or your kid be very careful
Jesus more Father I thank You for more in the name of
Jesus right now, more healing, wholeness
in Jesus name in Jesus name
every cell be healed Jesus name.
Bless you man. Jesus name
right now Jesus name OK right now I want you to check
everybody I want you to check your body right now
if there is change I want both hands over your head to celebrate
if you have got physical change in your body wave both your hands over your head.
Now I want everybody in this place to find somebody to pray for
everybody in this place I need you to find somebody else to pray for
right now come on
help me out. Come on guys.
Keith Mitzall where are you? Come on guys I need you to pray for somebody
please don’t look to me. Come on.
Come on. When you are starting to have healing happen
in your body I want you to celebrate
it’s a great victory. If you are seeing break through
it’s great victory. Hey look at me
I want you to head over there to that corner right there
right there Keith
take him back take him back and talk to him
there you go, good. Come on guys find somebody to pray for
now is not the time for you to come to me I need you guys as the body of Christ right
now to look to each other right now
come on I am not being mean
love you too thank you
bless you Amen
Thank you bless you little buddy
bless you man Jesus thank you for brand new thinking
everybody’s mind transformed in the name of Jesus
God thank you in Jesus name in Jesus name brand new minds
in Jesus name Jesus name
freedom in Jesus name
Jesus name freedom
soul be free, in Jesus name freedom in Jesus name
in Jesus name freedom
freedom be free in Jesus name
let him go in Jesus name get out
in Jesus name I command bi polar disorder to get out
I command schizophrenia to get out I command learning disorders to get out
ADHD get out in Jesus name
in Jesus name fire in Jesus name
freedom in Jesus name come on
if you have got break through going on at all in your body
since we started tonight I want you to give a big shout
and raise your hands to Jesus if you have healing going on right now
come on come on I want you to find somebody
keep praying right now find somebody to pray for
Jesus come on guys
we are the body of Christ you are over equipped
you are over ready you are well done
you are not rare, you are well done Jesus do it
God I thank You in the name of Jesus do it God
come on guys find somebody to pray for William
William find somebody to pray for right now please
please don’t look to me right now I need help from you guys
find somebody to pray for come on
just try out the equipment of the Holy Spirit He is yours
He is yours Jesus thank You
thank You thank You
thank You, more God more Father I thank You for more in the name of
Jesus God more
Jesus We love you Jesus
it is all about Jesus
Jesus it’s all about
it’s all about Jesus
Jesus it’s all about Jesus
it’s all about Jesus it’s all about Jesus
all about Jesus it’s all about Jesus
it’s all about Jesus Jesus
Jesus it’s all about Jesus
it’s all about Jesus it’s all about Jesus
it’s all about Jesus it’s all about Jesus
sing freedom freedom
eyes to see ears to hear
eyes to see ears to hear
eyes to see ears to hear
it’s all about Jesus all about Jesus
it’s all about Jesus it’s all about Jesus
it’s all about Jesus Jesus
there is no sweeter name there is no sweeter name
there is no sweeter name there is no sweeter name
it’s all about Jesus all about Jesus
it’s all about Jesus it’s all about Jesus
it’s all about Jesus it’s all about Jesus
Sing for me sing about Jesus
it’s good Father I thank You for more, in Jesus name
God I thank You because there is no sweeter name, than the name of Jesus
I lift You up God we lift You up
we lift You high high
high Jesus, Jesus, Jesus
freedom, freedom, freedom, freedom Jesus
Holy God Father I thank You for more in the name of
Jesus come on guys find someone to pray for right
now. Can you lead us in worship?